The sounds of a vanishing alphabet...

REMINDER

2004-02-19T21:37:08Z

!: ohfu____ckshock.

For anyone who hasn't added it yet.

diebyyourhand @ 2004-02-12T21:13:00

2004-02-13T02:13:51Z

New Journal: ohfu____ckshock

It's public for now. But I might go back to friends-only. So I'm adding who I want right now. If you don't get added, comment if you want to be.

diebyyourhand @ 2004-02-12T19:50:00

2004-02-13T00:49:58Z

fuck. science. projects. we've had this project assigned since like november, you'd think the teacher would have forgotten about it by now or something. but no. And I have no idea what I'm doing for it. Awsome.

diebyyourhand @ 2004-02-12T16:19:00

2004-02-12T21:19:24Z

Yay. Vacation next week. What am I going to be doing? Nothing, probably.

diebyyourhand @ 2004-02-11T14:48:00

2004-02-11T19:48:01Z

Fucking awsome. Denali and Piebald are opening for Brand New when they come back the states.

Now I have to go to work, bah.

take heart, sweetheart, or I will take it from you.

2004-02-10T23:46:28Z

yeah that's kinda like how I feel right now... I'm such a winner.

cut your finger on the edge, cause it's sharper than they told you...

2004-02-10T22:23:46Z

I'm such a dork. Every Brand New song except 'Oh Holy Night".

Oh man. Last summer. This CD was it.

I have so much work to do for friday. Well, a lot of math make-up, and a science project. Having to work tomorrow doesn't help the situation. And I'm lazy, and longing for vacation.

diebyyourhand @ 2004-02-09T21:43:00

2004-02-10T02:43:49Z

xbeauty_sleepx and I win, because we both say valentines day is the suck...so whoever else thinks the same, can win with us too.

diebyyourhand @ 2004-02-09T17:47:00

2004-02-09T22:47:12Z

...is this the way a toy feels when its batteries run dry?

diebyyourhand @ 2004-02-07T21:40:00

2004-02-08T02:40:27Z

I'm tired of myself.

diebyyourhand @ 2004-02-07T09:09:00

2004-02-07T14:09:03Z

Lame.

diebyyourhand @ 2004-02-05T16:18:00

2004-02-05T21:18:17Z

i HATE it.

diebyyourhand @ 2004-02-04T22:04:00

2004-02-05T03:04:10Z

[Work]:330 - 830.

First day back to school was dumb. I'm lost in like all of my classes, and im trying to drop my graphics class taught by the shop teacher dropped and get a better class. Then work was slow and lame... come home, whatever. Um do makeup work tomorrow, then maybe im gonig out friday night, I dunno.

diebyyourhand @ 2004-02-03T22:05:00

2004-02-04T03:05:16Z

I just had this realization that I feel really lame., I don't know what it is. For some reason I don't think I know what I'm trying to get out of life. Like I'm not reaching for anything. I don't have any main goals right now, besides graudate from high school... which isn't going to be much of a problem. And then when college comes I'll deal with everything it has to offer then. My days are pretty boring unless I get out of the house. I go to school, deal with the work and the kids and everything else, come home... check my e-mail and IMs. Then i'll either sit down and talk to people, or I'll go rummage the the cabinets for food and then go play video games. When I get bored with one thing, I'll go do the other, and then ultimately i'll end up on the computer for the night. And that's another thing. I barely talk to anyone from school online. Justin, Cadah, Rob, Aleisha, i'm probably forgetting poeple but,and then some other people on occasion, but the converstaions don't amount to much, usually its just an inside joke or two about pineapples and shows, and the conversation dies. But then, I'll talk to people from livejournal for like hours on end. I'm not saying it's a bad thing or anything, but I don't know. I just can't seem to have the same conversations with people I actually know. Maybe it's because they have the same interests and stuff, and it's easy to converse and relate ideas and stuff. It's cool, because I don't have friends like that at school. Or that I haven't found anyone and being a senior it's like, make new friends now? What? It's like I dont have anything to do with myself after school. Or something...

Which brings me to my next rant/point... I feel I need to get the fuck out more. I always see people with huge groups of friends doing all sorts of fun shit just hanging out kicking each others asses and going downtown and kicking each others asses some more. And I wish I had that. I get out with Rich and Adam some nights, if I'm lucky. And we go into the center of this boring town and get coffee and chinese food, and talk about politics and school and music and our future and shit. And that's fun... and again, thats only if I'm lucky enough to get out early enough on a saturday night to catch up with them before they've already left their house. Then I sit at home and stay up 'till about 2 in the morning staring at my computer screen. Then I'll wake up the next day... usually being a sunday if i've gone out after work the night before, and I sit around and either play video games or stare at the computer screen and go back to work around 330 and get home around 9, go to sleep...and go to school the next day. Maybe I need a new job, so that I'm not working 'till the middle of the night-life where everyones already out and I don't have a chance at catching anyone. Repeating, everyones either out, or with their sig-other/crush/whateveryouwannacallit. And it's the same every weekend, and unless I get out, it sucks. I miss the summer of sophmore year, where it'd be me, Rich, Mark hanging out in the center skating, and then we'd go back to Rich's house to chill out for a little bit, then we'd go back out and skate some more, come back and play some video games, and then go out again 'till about whenver doing random shit. All summer, every day. It was fun. I miss that shit. Rich's wall still has the dates from the beginning of the summer of '02 when we hung out at his house. And I think my notebooks are still half-burnt out in the woods near his treehouse. You know, that, "hell yes, school is out, lets burn this shit and start a fire...". Well, needless to say the shit didn't burn very well, and now it's half-burnt/soaked from the rains of two years passed. Two years, shit. It doesn't even feel like that long. I remember those days like it was yesterday. Pepsis and random food from rich's cabinets. Then we'd stay up 'till about 2 in the morning watching conan and playing video games and shit. Wake up around 12 the next day... it was the only time I was able to sleep that late, was at his house. Sometimes i'd wake up before him and i'd play video games for like 3 hours on mute. I did that shit since 6th grade at his house... killer instinct on SNES. I'd beat the game like twice over before he woke up. Then I'd end up going home and showering, and then go back over for the day. Back into the center we'd go. Skate, chill, get drinks and shit from the book store. Do it all over again the next day. Of course I didn't have to work then, and I lived off my $20 a week from my mom and then the occasional $5 a day thing, and of course minus the stress of work. Ah well, shit changes... times change... I'll deal.

yes, love is a verb here, in my room...

focus!

2004-02-03T20:47:43Z

I'm rather glad I'm going back to school tomorrow, finally. Picked up Incubus - A Crow Left Of The Murder, and Grandaddy - Sumday. A Crow Left... is amazing, and Sumday is pretty damn good too...

ok I decided to be un-lame and make my journal public again... but under certain circumstances, i may have to make it private again...

PUBLIC PROMOTION

2004-01-19T23:38:14Z

yourscenevsoursyourscenevsoursyourscenevsoursyourscenevsoursyourscenevsours

GO!

diebyyourhand @ 2004-01-17T14:00:00

2004-01-17T18:57:38Z

diebyyourhand @ 2004-01-17T09:33:00

2004-01-17T14:30:35Z

EDIT:

diebyyourhand @ 2004-01-16T23:43:00

2004-01-17T04:40:33Z

you're never alone
as i'm turning to stone
of course now i can't move
and you're not strong enough
to push me along
of course this weather's of no help
the wind has burned you red
and i'm breaking apart

the fuck?
forecasters are predicting a meltdown
but where is the sun?
the trees are raping its rays
soaking the selfish branches
this ice patch will forever stay
bring them down to their stumps.

fuck!fight!revolution!
they're falling from cloud covered heights
but they say it's not enough
shit.
i forgot i'm still stuck.
and of course they forgot...
shit.

ok. it's dark.
shit!shadow.
tip me off, i wont feel a thing.
fuck.
i'm falling. i forgot.
my hearts the only thing left
and this is going to kill it.

CRACK.
there, it spilled.
do with it as you please.
give it to the little boy over there.
i'm sure he'll be gentle with it.
forever.

...wow, that makes no sense at all, i think.

and I can't stop listening to 'karma police', damn it.

and i'm sorry if i dissed you...

2004-01-17T03:46:46Z

...so the night wasn't a total drag. started off playing some madden. I got my ass kicked in a game against kevin. then won a game online... had chinese for dinner. yuim yum general tao(?) chicken... we tried to play a game with me and kevin vs. my brother and his friend... but they were being stupid so, that didn't work... then i played another game against kevin... i was the giants he was the bears. it was like 34-21 in the 3rd quater and kevin just couldn't take how shitty he bears were anymore, so we stopped. played THPS4 for a few hours... kevin just left. but the night is young... oh well... everyones still out and i only have about an hour and a half.

so work tomorrow, maybe do something tomorrow after work... work sunday... something afterwards... and no school monday... hmmmm.

i've given all i can...

2004-01-16T17:34:35Z

snow day again... in the house. we actually had a cancellation before school started. then we went sledding again...

...now I just gotta hang around the house and run some errands for tonight. family night with the spears and kevin's girlfriend. bleh. hardcore 3rd wheelin' there. work all weekend.. then monday off.

my brother and his friends are running around the house yelling "I wanna watch slapshot. I wanna see boobies!" Well, my brother doesn't want to watch it... his friends want to. heh,

EDIT:

diebyyourhand @ 2004-01-15T20:43:00

2004-01-16T01:41:24Z

entirelyxsmoothe (8:23:17 PM): and his name starts with an r

...went to kevin's after sledding. dan was over, and then jen came over... we played some halo. dan had to go and watch his younger siblings for a little bit, then we went over there. shouldn't have cause kevin and jen were so loud and almost woke the kids up. then went back over kevins for some more halo. dan left around 3... and we went and played some darts. i went home shortly after that... hung around for the rest of the night. waiting to see if we have a delay for tomorrow, or maybe a closing cause of temps. 5 day weekend, that'd be nice. if not, exam tomorrow, but it's only for video production. then come home and do nothing until the family night thing. rawr.

diebyyourhand @ 2004-01-15T12:36:00

2004-01-15T17:34:19Z

stupid branford school system 'till everyone was at school to cancel... after every town around us had already done so. i picked up cadah to bring her to school... so i found her, and aliesha and took them home. then put on the snow stuff and went outside...

i've got the habitat hat and the blue/purple jacket...

diebyyourhand @ 2004-01-14T21:30:00

2004-01-15T02:27:45Z

[Work]:330 - 845.

So I had my calc honors exam today... it was alright, I think I did decent. Then went to finish editing my video. Came home and played video games and stuff 'till 330, then went into work. it was slow and boring. come home early... hang around for the rest of the night. I have to go in tomorrow for my video production "exam", then talk to my advisory teacher about why i was going to get kicked out of the senior project. then do whatever for the rest of the day... physics exam friday... if school doesn't get cancellled due to snow tomorrow, i wont have to worry about preparing for that one.

diebyyourhand @ 2004-01-14T14:37:00

2004-01-14T19:34:52Z

I've got The Shins performance of 'So Says I' on letterman last night, up on my computer, if anyone wants it.

...haha, I was just looking through the options on kazaa, and noticed what they have for example blocklist filter words...